It’s been awhile since I have written about our efforts to make a baby Benda. To be honest, I decided after not conceiving last month, to take a bit of a mental break in the baby making department. I have stopped taking my basal temperature each morning, in fact, I have stopped charting all together, and I’m happy to report that ever since I put my thermometer back into its little box underneath the bathroom sink and my books and charts away, I’ve been sleeping much better. I’m actually sleeping through the night nowadays, and I wake up to the alarm clock, not my subconscious nagging me to take my temperature in the wee hours of the morning. I also un-subscribed to all the baby websites and blogs I’ve been combing non-stop for the last several months and un-liked everything baby on Facebook. This has helped a lot. I don’t know how it happened but I lost myself in the first few months of this process. Looking back now I was a lot more stressed out than I was willing to admit. Something I didn’t mention in previous posts, probably because I wasn’t ready, is that when I was 28 I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids. I had a benign tumor the size of a mandarin orange removed laparoscopically from my left ovary and and several small cysts drained from my right ovary. I was told at that time that there was no way to tell if I could conceive until I tried…
Petr and I have been trying for 5 months now. After making the decision to take a step back this month I feel optimistic and hopeful yet at the same time content with the fact that if we can’t have a child life will go on. It took time for me to get to this point and now that I’m here I’m thankful we didn’t get pregnant right away. I clearly still had some processing to do around my surgery which was very traumatic for me and to be honest, I think I even still had a little growing up to do.
One Response to “A New Perspective”